Dear Blog:
It has been a long time since I have heard from you or you have heard from me.
I have been learning to appreciate myself again as I am. I have also been busy with family, scrapping, watching movies and catching up with the shows that I like to watch.
It was a big festival in our local town this last week and what a fun time it was this year. I didnt take any time off to enjoy it but the family got together, watched a parade together and enjoyed each other. Maybe next year we can have more family together.
Big yard plans next week. Need to get it ready for fall and winter.
Time to start thinking of the holidays and getting ready for it. Next week will be the time that I will be ready to put up my MANY trees. Might as well start now since there are 7 of them that I can put up. If I dont put them up now, it wont give me that much time to enjoy them for the season.
Well I am off for now. I know that it was short but I wanted to let you know that I love my family and send prayers their way. I also send prayers to friends, close and far away - ones that I keep in touch with and those that are silent.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Tagged
Here are the rules which must be posted on your blog if you are tagged:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
I was tagged by:
http://shawnnas.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-or-lack-there-of.html
Here's 7 facts about me:
1. I dont know 7 people that blog so I wont be able to tag anyone. My tagger already tagged the ones that I know.
2. I can not stay in a budget and am terrible about being organized. It is one of the things that I am going to be in my next life.
3. I am such an open person that I dont think that there is anyone that doenst know everything about me.
4. I can remember things from what I think were two other lives. One I lived on a plantation and had workers/help in the house and for myself but color had nothing to do with them. I dont remember much else about it except sitting on the porch and looking over the lawns. Maybe that is why I have always wanted a large porch and love a pretty yard. The other one was in the gold rush days and I owned a "house". I was the one in charge. Sometimes I see someone and think that I know them, and then I wonder if it was from that life. I did meet one guy at my work in Albuquerque that we both thought it was from that life because he could remember some things too.
5. I kind of like living alone, I miss sharing things as they are happening during my day, but I can listen to my music and watch TV at the same time I am on the computer and there isnt anyone to care. I dont like being an adult - like having to go to work, like having to know that I am getting older, like being responsible.
6. I am addicted to buying pajamas and under things.
7. I am very lucky to have so many people in my life. My DM is still with us. My DF is with me in my mind and around me. My DH is still with me in my heart, mind, soul and body. My 3DDs are the ones that keep me going every day. My 5DGC are the wonders of a new generation and keep me young. My DTD and my DCBGFF are who I keep in my mind and in my prayers with everything they are going through in their lives and have made my world better with them in it.
**D- dear M - mother F-father DD - dear daughter H-husband GC - grandchildrem T-Texas C-California BGFF - best girlfriend forever
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
I was tagged by:
http://shawnnas.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-or-lack-there-of.html
Here's 7 facts about me:
1. I dont know 7 people that blog so I wont be able to tag anyone. My tagger already tagged the ones that I know.
2. I can not stay in a budget and am terrible about being organized. It is one of the things that I am going to be in my next life.
3. I am such an open person that I dont think that there is anyone that doenst know everything about me.
4. I can remember things from what I think were two other lives. One I lived on a plantation and had workers/help in the house and for myself but color had nothing to do with them. I dont remember much else about it except sitting on the porch and looking over the lawns. Maybe that is why I have always wanted a large porch and love a pretty yard. The other one was in the gold rush days and I owned a "house". I was the one in charge. Sometimes I see someone and think that I know them, and then I wonder if it was from that life. I did meet one guy at my work in Albuquerque that we both thought it was from that life because he could remember some things too.
5. I kind of like living alone, I miss sharing things as they are happening during my day, but I can listen to my music and watch TV at the same time I am on the computer and there isnt anyone to care. I dont like being an adult - like having to go to work, like having to know that I am getting older, like being responsible.
6. I am addicted to buying pajamas and under things.
7. I am very lucky to have so many people in my life. My DM is still with us. My DF is with me in my mind and around me. My DH is still with me in my heart, mind, soul and body. My 3DDs are the ones that keep me going every day. My 5DGC are the wonders of a new generation and keep me young. My DTD and my DCBGFF are who I keep in my mind and in my prayers with everything they are going through in their lives and have made my world better with them in it.
**D- dear M - mother F-father DD - dear daughter H-husband GC - grandchildrem T-Texas C-California BGFF - best girlfriend forever
2 Addictions
Dear Blog, did you see the questions we got over the last post I sent you? Wondering if all addictions were bad or harmful?
I dont think they are all bad.. but that is my opinion because I have so many of them maybe. One for sure is scrapping supplies - DUH look my profile.
I guess I would say that it depends on how you handle the addictions. I handled one wrong and it turned out bad. It made me learn to handle the addiction instead of letting it handle me.
I have learned onmy addiction on buying paper for my supply is to to take a partial kit and buy paper to match it. Although I just did buy a stack of paper this weekend, but it was Christmas paper and I had to buy $25.00 worth to get my name in a drawing for the BIG Cricut, so it had to be okay to do that. And they dont carry Bazzil paper and only a little BG so that helps too.
Handling the addiction has to make you feel that if you get a little you want a lot, it shouldnt be on your mind 24/7, invading your dreams, invading every thought - that has to be called something else. Maybe I could come up with a new word for it - Controldiction.
So, to answer our Dear Post, NO NO NO NO some addictions are not bad.
This weekend.... I watched a couple of funny movies. I should have watched Road Hogs 1st because it was funny but after watching Knocked Up it wasnt as funny. Knocked Up is not a movie for kids and is a good movie to watch with a man. I kept thinking it was a movie and men REALLY wouldnt act that way. The DF that I watched the movies with told me that YES they are really that way and really think that way. So it just goes to show that they are all still teenage boys at heart. They may think they are grown up and above all that thinking without their brain but I think it is all still there. BUT we are no different. Dont we want them to have a little of that teenage playing in them? Dont we want to feel that we havent lost it ourselves? Dont we want to know that we still have that attraction to make them want to feel like teenage boys?
Questions, on top of questions, and thoughts that can really make you think with your BRAIN.........
Prayers for tonight: Pray that my DGD, who is going to be a teenager, will find that she has "what it takes" to make it in everything she does in the world. Pray that my DYD can remember what it was like as a teenager and want that back. Pray that my DOD can remember what she wanted in her life when she was a teenager and go for it now. Pray that my DMD remembers what she was like as a teenager and passes that on to her teenager. Pray that MFL will remember the teenage years, how it felt to be a Junior, and want it again in the world now no matter who creates those feelings.
I dont think they are all bad.. but that is my opinion because I have so many of them maybe. One for sure is scrapping supplies - DUH look my profile.
I guess I would say that it depends on how you handle the addictions. I handled one wrong and it turned out bad. It made me learn to handle the addiction instead of letting it handle me.
I have learned onmy addiction on buying paper for my supply is to to take a partial kit and buy paper to match it. Although I just did buy a stack of paper this weekend, but it was Christmas paper and I had to buy $25.00 worth to get my name in a drawing for the BIG Cricut, so it had to be okay to do that. And they dont carry Bazzil paper and only a little BG so that helps too.
Handling the addiction has to make you feel that if you get a little you want a lot, it shouldnt be on your mind 24/7, invading your dreams, invading every thought - that has to be called something else. Maybe I could come up with a new word for it - Controldiction.
So, to answer our Dear Post, NO NO NO NO some addictions are not bad.
This weekend.... I watched a couple of funny movies. I should have watched Road Hogs 1st because it was funny but after watching Knocked Up it wasnt as funny. Knocked Up is not a movie for kids and is a good movie to watch with a man. I kept thinking it was a movie and men REALLY wouldnt act that way. The DF that I watched the movies with told me that YES they are really that way and really think that way. So it just goes to show that they are all still teenage boys at heart. They may think they are grown up and above all that thinking without their brain but I think it is all still there. BUT we are no different. Dont we want them to have a little of that teenage playing in them? Dont we want to feel that we havent lost it ourselves? Dont we want to know that we still have that attraction to make them want to feel like teenage boys?
Questions, on top of questions, and thoughts that can really make you think with your BRAIN.........
Prayers for tonight: Pray that my DGD, who is going to be a teenager, will find that she has "what it takes" to make it in everything she does in the world. Pray that my DYD can remember what it was like as a teenager and want that back. Pray that my DOD can remember what she wanted in her life when she was a teenager and go for it now. Pray that my DMD remembers what she was like as a teenager and passes that on to her teenager. Pray that MFL will remember the teenage years, how it felt to be a Junior, and want it again in the world now no matter who creates those feelings.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Addiction
Dear Blog:
I asked a DF this last week what he was addicted to and he said "work". That scared me because it can be just as harmful to your health as smoking.
We use to be addicted to smoking. Oh I only smoked 2-3 packs a WEEK. But it was still an addiction.
I thought of how I would have answered the same question if he would have asked me. I think I am addicted to love. To the Knight in shining armour, to the white horse and fairy tales. I knew two Knights in my life. One swept me away with love but his horse was lost when I need to be saved. The second Knight swept me away on his horse when I needed to get out of a bad situation. Only his horse got sick, other addictions took him away. But I will still always believe......
Why do we get addicted to something? Because it makes us feel good -
**Work - we have accomplished something. Getting the raise, gotten the pat on the back, getting the new title, getting the rush of the kill of the latest project
**Cigarettes - the last smoke of the day, the relaxing time it gives you to light up, the old movies of smoking after making love, the glamorous way we grew up seeing movie stars smoking,
**Drugs - again it makes you feel good and lets you forget the problems you are having
**Love - nothing else needs to be said about it.
**Chocolate - the melting in your mouth and the smoothness of it on your tongue the rush the sugar gives you
But then there is the let down from the addiction. No matter what the addiction is there is the fall, the crash.
The end of the project at work is always a let down. Now you have to start all over with a new one.
The Knight falling off the pedestal. We wouldnt have music if love was perfect. Think of all the songs that are about falling in and the lost love.
Drugs and cigarettes take away from your health and that cant be good coming down from not having it any longer.
Chocolate well it just adds calories and weight and then you have to get make a new addiction of exercising.
So, dear Blog, watch what you get addicted to because some are very harmful to your health. They are all hard on your heart. Some will permanently harm in and others will break it.
Prayers for tonight....
Family that might have additions, family who has big hurtles to climb, for all the Knights out there that they dont fall off their horses and a special prayer for a DF who told me that I should listen to my puppies first
I asked a DF this last week what he was addicted to and he said "work". That scared me because it can be just as harmful to your health as smoking.
We use to be addicted to smoking. Oh I only smoked 2-3 packs a WEEK. But it was still an addiction.
I thought of how I would have answered the same question if he would have asked me. I think I am addicted to love. To the Knight in shining armour, to the white horse and fairy tales. I knew two Knights in my life. One swept me away with love but his horse was lost when I need to be saved. The second Knight swept me away on his horse when I needed to get out of a bad situation. Only his horse got sick, other addictions took him away. But I will still always believe......
Why do we get addicted to something? Because it makes us feel good -
**Work - we have accomplished something. Getting the raise, gotten the pat on the back, getting the new title, getting the rush of the kill of the latest project
**Cigarettes - the last smoke of the day, the relaxing time it gives you to light up, the old movies of smoking after making love, the glamorous way we grew up seeing movie stars smoking,
**Drugs - again it makes you feel good and lets you forget the problems you are having
**Love - nothing else needs to be said about it.
**Chocolate - the melting in your mouth and the smoothness of it on your tongue the rush the sugar gives you
But then there is the let down from the addiction. No matter what the addiction is there is the fall, the crash.
The end of the project at work is always a let down. Now you have to start all over with a new one.
The Knight falling off the pedestal. We wouldnt have music if love was perfect. Think of all the songs that are about falling in and the lost love.
Drugs and cigarettes take away from your health and that cant be good coming down from not having it any longer.
Chocolate well it just adds calories and weight and then you have to get make a new addiction of exercising.
So, dear Blog, watch what you get addicted to because some are very harmful to your health. They are all hard on your heart. Some will permanently harm in and others will break it.
Prayers for tonight....
Family that might have additions, family who has big hurtles to climb, for all the Knights out there that they dont fall off their horses and a special prayer for a DF who told me that I should listen to my puppies first
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Weekend is yellow - not blue
Dear Blog:
I had a good week this week.
I talked to two friends for hours a couple of different nights this week. It is getting to be quite a thing for me to stay up to 11:00 talking at night. What fun, just like a teen again, laying in bed and talking to friends for hours on end. Thanks to my DBCGF/YS and to my DFL.
So started the day out sleeping late, which was great and dont feel guilty. Then went to the gym and walked 1 1/2 miles. I think I could have gone further but I didnt want to push it too much. I will do that for a couple of weeks and then bump it up again. I am ready to get past this next hurtle in the weight.
I had another episode with that same bottle of wine. I was on the final glass of it and the cork got stuck in the neck of the bottle. So I stuck my finger down it's throat and got my finger stuck. Now I could wrap the bottle with a towel and hit it with a hammer, but with my luck my hand would get cut and the neck would still be on my finger. So I decided to plod my way to the bedroom, lay on the bed, drink what wine I got out of it and then by relaxing the bottle would come off. Woo Hoo it worked.
I have called the winery to see if they can tell me who to uncork their bottles so I can drink the next one. The one that I just finished was a black cherry/chocolate. The next one is apple and citrus. Should be just as good.
Now I have a lazy afternoon ahead of me and have too much lazy things that I want to do. I made a CD for my DFL but I have another started and want to get the songs just right before I send it off. He said that he couldnt find a CD that he was knew he had and really liked the songs on it, so I found some of them and bought them for his new CD. I hope it doesnt take him 4 weeks to listen to this one like it did the last one I sent.
My music is blaring with the combination of tunes from Willey Nelson, Beatels, Ray Charles, Corinne Bailey Rae, Don McLean, Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Clarson, Hootie & the Blowfish, and many many more. I can get up and dance with any tune, sing as loud as I want to and no one is going to care. Freedom, is something that we all think we have in our lives, but when there is another person depending on you and living with you, the freedom isnt yours any longer. Your freedom now becomes a group freedom. You might say you dont care what the other person is doing or wants to do, and he may say the same thing about you. BUT truth be told, if you didnt want to listen to his type of music and he was playing really loud, you would mind. Freedom is a good thing but it sometimes gets lonely too. The human touch, the spoken word, the caring and the sharing and the loving have a lot to be desired - BUT maybe not on a full time basis.
So, Dear Blog, I am closing for tonight with a smile on my face and sunshine in my eyes and hope in my heart.
Prayers still go out to all of my family - and you all know who you are.
I had a good week this week.
I talked to two friends for hours a couple of different nights this week. It is getting to be quite a thing for me to stay up to 11:00 talking at night. What fun, just like a teen again, laying in bed and talking to friends for hours on end. Thanks to my DBCGF/YS and to my DFL.
So started the day out sleeping late, which was great and dont feel guilty. Then went to the gym and walked 1 1/2 miles. I think I could have gone further but I didnt want to push it too much. I will do that for a couple of weeks and then bump it up again. I am ready to get past this next hurtle in the weight.
I had another episode with that same bottle of wine. I was on the final glass of it and the cork got stuck in the neck of the bottle. So I stuck my finger down it's throat and got my finger stuck. Now I could wrap the bottle with a towel and hit it with a hammer, but with my luck my hand would get cut and the neck would still be on my finger. So I decided to plod my way to the bedroom, lay on the bed, drink what wine I got out of it and then by relaxing the bottle would come off. Woo Hoo it worked.
I have called the winery to see if they can tell me who to uncork their bottles so I can drink the next one. The one that I just finished was a black cherry/chocolate. The next one is apple and citrus. Should be just as good.
Now I have a lazy afternoon ahead of me and have too much lazy things that I want to do. I made a CD for my DFL but I have another started and want to get the songs just right before I send it off. He said that he couldnt find a CD that he was knew he had and really liked the songs on it, so I found some of them and bought them for his new CD. I hope it doesnt take him 4 weeks to listen to this one like it did the last one I sent.
My music is blaring with the combination of tunes from Willey Nelson, Beatels, Ray Charles, Corinne Bailey Rae, Don McLean, Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Clarson, Hootie & the Blowfish, and many many more. I can get up and dance with any tune, sing as loud as I want to and no one is going to care. Freedom, is something that we all think we have in our lives, but when there is another person depending on you and living with you, the freedom isnt yours any longer. Your freedom now becomes a group freedom. You might say you dont care what the other person is doing or wants to do, and he may say the same thing about you. BUT truth be told, if you didnt want to listen to his type of music and he was playing really loud, you would mind. Freedom is a good thing but it sometimes gets lonely too. The human touch, the spoken word, the caring and the sharing and the loving have a lot to be desired - BUT maybe not on a full time basis.
So, Dear Blog, I am closing for tonight with a smile on my face and sunshine in my eyes and hope in my heart.
Prayers still go out to all of my family - and you all know who you are.
Monday, October 8, 2007
My prayers go out....................
Dear Blog:
Another widow in my circle of neighbors/friends. His suffering is over which we can thank God for - now his family's suffering get increased.
The book that I am currently reading starts out: "Without having seen him you love him, though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with exalted joy."
Nothing at this time brings joy or peace in the life of the family left behind. The pain is the same if there is a long illness or a sudden parting.
There is resentment on both sides of the loss: One family got to say their good byes, knew that it was coming, got to spend many last hours together, got to get affairs in order. The other family didnt have to see their loved one suffer, see the pain that also cause the family pain, didnt have the expenses of the illness.
Both families have to go through the same steps of grieving and loss: WHY, anger, whe didnt I, what if, why, should have done, why didnt he, we could have, why couldnt the doctors, resentment, guilt, more anger, why him, how am I going to go on..........................
The worse thing to say to someone is " I know how you feel" NO you dont, no one knows because every relationship is different and everyone goes through the grieving in a different order.
So, Dear Blog, I am sending prayers to all the 14+ familes that are in my circle of family/friends, that have loss in their lives in the last 25 months.
May they find peace sometime during their days and weeks.
***************************************************************************************
Okay, Dear Blog, enough of that kind of blogging. Hopefully no more losses in a long time.
My DCBGF should be back home today after being away for 4 - yes four - days and we need a long phone call.
Speaking of phone calls, I wonder why I havent heard from the DH of the dog sitter? We talked about meeting in AR this month but she had to dog sit, so there was gong to be long hours of talking into the night.
I know that I missed talking to both of my DFs.
I do get to talk to some pretty sexy, younger men during the day. Of course some are married and they some call me MOM but it is still fun. Business only.. yeah right.. nothing naughty because we could be listened to.
I need to start my DF, who wants to take me 'shopping', on long phone calls after her kids go to bed.
My movie DF works at night when I am home. But we email every day. So I do get to keep up on his life.
So enough for one night.............I have talked your ear off.
TOY
ALM
ALY
Another widow in my circle of neighbors/friends. His suffering is over which we can thank God for - now his family's suffering get increased.
The book that I am currently reading starts out: "Without having seen him you love him, though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with exalted joy."
Nothing at this time brings joy or peace in the life of the family left behind. The pain is the same if there is a long illness or a sudden parting.
There is resentment on both sides of the loss: One family got to say their good byes, knew that it was coming, got to spend many last hours together, got to get affairs in order. The other family didnt have to see their loved one suffer, see the pain that also cause the family pain, didnt have the expenses of the illness.
Both families have to go through the same steps of grieving and loss: WHY, anger, whe didnt I, what if, why, should have done, why didnt he, we could have, why couldnt the doctors, resentment, guilt, more anger, why him, how am I going to go on..........................
The worse thing to say to someone is " I know how you feel" NO you dont, no one knows because every relationship is different and everyone goes through the grieving in a different order.
So, Dear Blog, I am sending prayers to all the 14+ familes that are in my circle of family/friends, that have loss in their lives in the last 25 months.
May they find peace sometime during their days and weeks.
***************************************************************************************
Okay, Dear Blog, enough of that kind of blogging. Hopefully no more losses in a long time.
My DCBGF should be back home today after being away for 4 - yes four - days and we need a long phone call.
Speaking of phone calls, I wonder why I havent heard from the DH of the dog sitter? We talked about meeting in AR this month but she had to dog sit, so there was gong to be long hours of talking into the night.
I know that I missed talking to both of my DFs.
I do get to talk to some pretty sexy, younger men during the day. Of course some are married and they some call me MOM but it is still fun. Business only.. yeah right.. nothing naughty because we could be listened to.
I need to start my DF, who wants to take me 'shopping', on long phone calls after her kids go to bed.
My movie DF works at night when I am home. But we email every day. So I do get to keep up on his life.
So enough for one night.............I have talked your ear off.
TOY
ALM
ALY
Sunday, October 7, 2007
WOO HOO FOR ME!!!!
I got on the scale today and I had hit my next goal. now I have to work on keeping it there and going lower. It sure felt good to get there. A little at a time .... but those littles add up to a lot in the end.... but I dont want to talk about my end... lol
Anyone would think that my DM was coming to visit. I have done 8 loads of laundry in the last two days and none of them are clothes. Rugs, all the bedding on both bed, and anything that I can pick up. Moving furniture and vacuuming but not taking the blinds down and cleaning them. Washing the puppies.
So this morning I couldnt get out of bed very easily but had to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen last night. I decided that after working so hard I deserved a glass of wine and some relaxing. So - darn I say that a lot - I got out the bottle that my DOD brought with her for her visit. Couldnt get the darn thing open. Even my fancy opener wouldnt work, then I tried a long screw and a pair of plyers, then a knife - nothing it was not budging. I dont think it is cork but maybe a rubber sealer or waxed sealer of some kind. Do I got a +screw driver and started punching the stopper. I guess it had built up a lot of pressure because it sprouted out all over the kitchen. I was not about to clean it up last night after all that so -there is that word again - I had to clean it up this morning. But it was worth it. It was good, made me feel good and very sleepy. Maybe I shouldnt have had a margarita glass full????????
Went to Sonic just now and got my regular DDP so I am set for the day. Football on, music rattling the windows, chicken cooking in the oven, getting ready to scrap. What could be better????? I guess figuring out someway of being able to read while doing this all.
Yes, Dear Blog, I am reading again. you know that I use to read about two books a week and then when my life changed until now I have only read one book. So this last week I started reading again. Really enjoying it again. There just arent enough hours in a day.
The last episode of my favorite show is on tonight --Side Order of Life --- YEAH, Shannon would be proud of me for remembering the name now that the show is over for the season. It is two hours so I will be missing DHW and B&S tonight. I will have to stay up late and watch B&S to see who the funeral is for. Don't tell me................It isnt like a book where I read the first 1/4 of the book, the last 1/4 of the book and then the middle, and then the end again...
Well, DB, I am going to stop for now and go turn the chicken and get to scrapping...
Have a great day... Hope your dreams and wishes come true... Hope you hear from some dear to you... those are my prayers for today.
Anyone would think that my DM was coming to visit. I have done 8 loads of laundry in the last two days and none of them are clothes. Rugs, all the bedding on both bed, and anything that I can pick up. Moving furniture and vacuuming but not taking the blinds down and cleaning them. Washing the puppies.
So this morning I couldnt get out of bed very easily but had to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen last night. I decided that after working so hard I deserved a glass of wine and some relaxing. So - darn I say that a lot - I got out the bottle that my DOD brought with her for her visit. Couldnt get the darn thing open. Even my fancy opener wouldnt work, then I tried a long screw and a pair of plyers, then a knife - nothing it was not budging. I dont think it is cork but maybe a rubber sealer or waxed sealer of some kind. Do I got a +screw driver and started punching the stopper. I guess it had built up a lot of pressure because it sprouted out all over the kitchen. I was not about to clean it up last night after all that so -there is that word again - I had to clean it up this morning. But it was worth it. It was good, made me feel good and very sleepy. Maybe I shouldnt have had a margarita glass full????????
Went to Sonic just now and got my regular DDP so I am set for the day. Football on, music rattling the windows, chicken cooking in the oven, getting ready to scrap. What could be better????? I guess figuring out someway of being able to read while doing this all.
Yes, Dear Blog, I am reading again. you know that I use to read about two books a week and then when my life changed until now I have only read one book. So this last week I started reading again. Really enjoying it again. There just arent enough hours in a day.
The last episode of my favorite show is on tonight --Side Order of Life --- YEAH, Shannon would be proud of me for remembering the name now that the show is over for the season. It is two hours so I will be missing DHW and B&S tonight. I will have to stay up late and watch B&S to see who the funeral is for. Don't tell me................It isnt like a book where I read the first 1/4 of the book, the last 1/4 of the book and then the middle, and then the end again...
Well, DB, I am going to stop for now and go turn the chicken and get to scrapping...
Have a great day... Hope your dreams and wishes come true... Hope you hear from some dear to you... those are my prayers for today.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Better now
It is amazing what 12 hours of sleep can do. The body gets rested but the mind still comes and goes - I know that it is age but what can we do.....
I am still trying to be positive since I decided I am giving myself a year to get better and to heal myself. Oh, I know it will take the rest of my life but the year is a start.
It is hard to now see myself in my mind's eye like I was in my 40's and I wish I could get on a soap-box to tell everyone my thoughts. I wish that I would have listened to myself back those years. I took my own advice at times but then life would take over and I would get swept up again.
I am still trying to be positive since I decided I am giving myself a year to get better and to heal myself. Oh, I know it will take the rest of my life but the year is a start.
It is hard to now see myself in my mind's eye like I was in my 40's and I wish I could get on a soap-box to tell everyone my thoughts. I wish that I would have listened to myself back those years. I took my own advice at times but then life would take over and I would get swept up again.
BEGIN NOW
DONT WAIT
Why didnt I listen to myself -
If there is one thing that you dont like about yourself WORK on it NOW, DONT WAIT.
I didnt like and dont like my weight - what did I do to change it all those years - change my hair color, change the style, change my makeup, bought some clothes. Nothing too the weight off, it was still there. I didnt work or try anything to work on the biggest problem.
So now I am trying to work on . Yes, I am like everyone else and would like to loose 100 pounds in the next month or even in the next year, to be the size I was when I got married. But would that make me happy either???? I have to be realistic in this and know that it is going to be hard to loose 5 pounds a month unless I really am good to myself and really work on it.
My wish is to go back to my 40's so I would have more time in my life to work on myself.
Remember, Dear Blog, to pamper yourself/myself - what ever it takes - get a massage, get a pedicure, get a manicure, have a day with friends, have a special dessert instead of dinner, soaking in the bath with the music blaring and a bottle of your favorite drink that you dont get all by yourself - anything that will make you feel special and put a smile on your face when you think of it. Think of things to feel better that doesnt cost anything. Go for a walk or play in the rain, make mud pies, sit for hours at Barnes & Noble amongst the wonder books and smelling the wonderful coffee. What ever it takes.. Just do it, even if it is only once every two months.. Renew your soul..
LOVE ME/YOU
Another thing I wish I would have listened to myself more was my significant other. I wish I would have stopped everything EVERY day to just listen to what he had to say about his day. Really listen. It doesnt matter if he listened to me or if he even asked how my day went. It made me feel good to just listen to his voice and have him share his life with me. It doesnt have to be more than 10 minutes of just listening.
Treat myself and my significant other to an affair - with each other. What excitement the first time of making love, of the exploration of each other - why do we loose that - again it is life taking over. Kids need this, the house needs that, my body needs sleep, the laundry needs to be folded - but what bout how the body and mind feel when all of those things are shut out and it is just the two of us. We had some of those times but never enough.
Now those times are gone and I cant ever get them back except the few we had and it is just a memory or a dream....
So, Dear Blog, I am off to pamper myself with a walk on the treadmill to see if I can burn a portion of a pound.
I will be back............................
Monday, October 1, 2007
Very Tired
I guess the last two FUN filled weekends have finally caught up with me.
The weekend that was too short with my DGSs and DD here for a visit and then the fun filled weekend that was filled with me just doing what I wanted to do.
Now the tireds and the depression starts.
I really dont know where this is going and it is hard to see through the tears that have started already.
No real cause for them - missing:
my DD and her WONDERFUL boys... I mean really missing them....
my other DDs and wondering how they are all doing....
the other 1/2 of my heart... I just dont know..the touch, the look, the need...
a friend that hasnt emailed in weeks now...
what I need from my DM...
No real cause for them - worrying:
about my DDs - will they be as happy as I was (most of the time) - will they have the love that I took for granted...
what about health - will their bones be strong or get stronger - will I be able to set any examples for them - will their bodies hold up for them...
will their spouses see them for who they are and take care of them always...
will they see themselves as they are and not as who they use to be....
So starts my prayer for tonight:
Please listen to all of our prayers, listen with an open heart and an open mind on what we are asking. Please keep ALL of our family safe, help us to understand the choices you have made for us. Please, let DDC see the way that she should travel...let DDT see the light at the end of the tunnel...let DDE see the how lucky she is in her life...let DDS have good results and keep by her side during her trials...let DSS know what path to follow...let me see myself for who I am...
Help all of us to keep you in our hearts and in our thoughts and to know that you have something planned for us even though we may not understand. ..........................................
The weekend that was too short with my DGSs and DD here for a visit and then the fun filled weekend that was filled with me just doing what I wanted to do.
Now the tireds and the depression starts.
I really dont know where this is going and it is hard to see through the tears that have started already.
No real cause for them - missing:
my DD and her WONDERFUL boys... I mean really missing them....
my other DDs and wondering how they are all doing....
the other 1/2 of my heart... I just dont know..the touch, the look, the need...
a friend that hasnt emailed in weeks now...
what I need from my DM...
No real cause for them - worrying:
about my DDs - will they be as happy as I was (most of the time) - will they have the love that I took for granted...
what about health - will their bones be strong or get stronger - will I be able to set any examples for them - will their bodies hold up for them...
will their spouses see them for who they are and take care of them always...
will they see themselves as they are and not as who they use to be....
So starts my prayer for tonight:
Please listen to all of our prayers, listen with an open heart and an open mind on what we are asking. Please keep ALL of our family safe, help us to understand the choices you have made for us. Please, let DDC see the way that she should travel...let DDT see the light at the end of the tunnel...let DDE see the how lucky she is in her life...let DDS have good results and keep by her side during her trials...let DSS know what path to follow...let me see myself for who I am...
Help all of us to keep you in our hearts and in our thoughts and to know that you have something planned for us even though we may not understand. ..........................................
Saturday, September 29, 2007
I forgot ..............
I wanted to say a special prayer for a few people.
One daughter that needs guidance in what to do.....................you know who.
One daughter that needs prayers for her health, family and all the changes that are going in her life right now.... you know who.
One friend that is going through tough times in her family life and pray that the right decisions will come her way....you KNOW who you are.
One that I know whose husband is very sick and needs prayers that he wont suffer too long and that she gets to spend positive hours that are left for them....you know who.
A friend that is getting test done and hope that the results are negative in a positive way.... you know who.
And for all the rest of my family - friends included - and may they all understand what is coming their way and take every moment with joy and peace....you know who.
Me - help me to understand and accept...............
Amen
One daughter that needs guidance in what to do.....................you know who.
One daughter that needs prayers for her health, family and all the changes that are going in her life right now.... you know who.
One friend that is going through tough times in her family life and pray that the right decisions will come her way....you KNOW who you are.
One that I know whose husband is very sick and needs prayers that he wont suffer too long and that she gets to spend positive hours that are left for them....you know who.
A friend that is getting test done and hope that the results are negative in a positive way.... you know who.
And for all the rest of my family - friends included - and may they all understand what is coming their way and take every moment with joy and peace....you know who.
Me - help me to understand and accept...............
Amen
FUN!!!! FUN!!!! Day
What a fun but tiring day.
Met a friend/my hairdresser for coffee at 7:45 this morning.. yes I was up and going at that time. We chatted about many topics that girls talk about. Boys, shopping, boys, decorating, boys, hair, clothes, boys, jewelry, home parties and more talk about boys.
Then we went to her shop and she cut my hair and got it styled. More talk and more fun about going to coffee again and making a habit of it. She is a lot younger than I am, more my DD's ages, but we still have some things in common.
I stopped at a DD's house and dropped off some stuff, went to Penneys -got myself a couple of things, the grocery store and then home to collapse for an hour.
Off again to have lunch with the girls at work. One the rest of us dont get to see very much and if was good to see her and get to talk to her. It seemed a little odd at first like we didnt know what to talk about if it wasnt work but I think it all came together by the end since we were there for 1 1/2 hours. The time went by really fast. Of course the food was great.
Then to the scrap book store -they just called and I won two prizes from their store.. WOO HOO - had to buy a couple of things and some paper. Then to a different grocery store and home.
Now I had to pick up the house and do a couple of things before my other friend came over to watch movies.
He got there at 4pm and we went to the movie store, Could not decide on a movie but it was his choice. Came home, watched his flop of a movie pick but we made fun of it the whole time so that made it better. Then we went to the same place for dinner that the girls and I went to for lunch. It is my favorite place so it was okay by me. Home and I got to pick a movie and it was a funny one. I had seen it already but I like to rewatch movies.
I wonder home many times I have seen "Return to Me" or "You've Got Mail"? Too many to even count I am sure.
Now I am ready for bed but wanted to mark my day because it was such a different one for me and full of energy, laughs, new experiences, and just full.
But cant go to bed yet. Have to call CA but I am going to set a timer this time. We get to talking and it is almost midnight before we stop. I need to get some scrapping done. I just got 53 pictures in the mail today so that should keep me busy for awhile since I havent done the 75 I got a couple of weeks ago.
Today was a good day and I feel like I have gotten on top of ........................... I dont know what but I feel good, tired but good...........full and gained probably 5 pounds today, but still good.................
I am grateful for my family, friends, good food, fun, .........................
Talk more to you later......................................
Met a friend/my hairdresser for coffee at 7:45 this morning.. yes I was up and going at that time. We chatted about many topics that girls talk about. Boys, shopping, boys, decorating, boys, hair, clothes, boys, jewelry, home parties and more talk about boys.
Then we went to her shop and she cut my hair and got it styled. More talk and more fun about going to coffee again and making a habit of it. She is a lot younger than I am, more my DD's ages, but we still have some things in common.
I stopped at a DD's house and dropped off some stuff, went to Penneys -got myself a couple of things, the grocery store and then home to collapse for an hour.
Off again to have lunch with the girls at work. One the rest of us dont get to see very much and if was good to see her and get to talk to her. It seemed a little odd at first like we didnt know what to talk about if it wasnt work but I think it all came together by the end since we were there for 1 1/2 hours. The time went by really fast. Of course the food was great.
Then to the scrap book store -they just called and I won two prizes from their store.. WOO HOO - had to buy a couple of things and some paper. Then to a different grocery store and home.
Now I had to pick up the house and do a couple of things before my other friend came over to watch movies.
He got there at 4pm and we went to the movie store, Could not decide on a movie but it was his choice. Came home, watched his flop of a movie pick but we made fun of it the whole time so that made it better. Then we went to the same place for dinner that the girls and I went to for lunch. It is my favorite place so it was okay by me. Home and I got to pick a movie and it was a funny one. I had seen it already but I like to rewatch movies.
I wonder home many times I have seen "Return to Me" or "You've Got Mail"? Too many to even count I am sure.
Now I am ready for bed but wanted to mark my day because it was such a different one for me and full of energy, laughs, new experiences, and just full.
But cant go to bed yet. Have to call CA but I am going to set a timer this time. We get to talking and it is almost midnight before we stop. I need to get some scrapping done. I just got 53 pictures in the mail today so that should keep me busy for awhile since I havent done the 75 I got a couple of weeks ago.
Today was a good day and I feel like I have gotten on top of ........................... I dont know what but I feel good, tired but good...........full and gained probably 5 pounds today, but still good.................
I am grateful for my family, friends, good food, fun, .........................
Talk more to you later......................................
Thursday, September 27, 2007
"Grey's" is on and i just want to cry. No one is happy, no one is whith who they should be with, everyone is moe like me............ Except they have the one's that they love right there and could be with them if they would just say what is on their mind. They just said "it hurts to grow up". Boy is that the truth. Breatkup kiss, break up sex, but there is still the person there for them. Geroge and Izzy the looks the words, the tears...........
Now "Big Shots" is coming up and another show of Hotties.... Of course most of them are cheating or being asked to cheat. Well maybe not all of them but some of them. How good is that? I lived with one of those for 6 years - even though he wasnt a hottie like they are. It isnt worth living with someone like that. How can you trust them, why should you trust them, is there ever going to be trust again, why not just leave first? Honesty.. who has it ... who wants it...
On "Saving Grace" she starts her show having an affair with a married man. Her thoughts on it is that it is wrong or at least that is what she things down deep. But she tells him "why should I worry, I am not the one that is married?". Is that the right attitude? Someone is always going to get hurt. Maybe all three people in that kind of relationship. Can anything good come out of it? Can anyone be satisfied with that has happened?
Desparate Housewives" another one that is telling the public that everyone should have a married life like that. I dont think it is. I think there is a soul mate for everyone. You dont always know where you are going to meet or if you are even going to get together in this lifetime.
Okay enough sol searching and life searching.
I will be back later..................
Now "Big Shots" is coming up and another show of Hotties.... Of course most of them are cheating or being asked to cheat. Well maybe not all of them but some of them. How good is that? I lived with one of those for 6 years - even though he wasnt a hottie like they are. It isnt worth living with someone like that. How can you trust them, why should you trust them, is there ever going to be trust again, why not just leave first? Honesty.. who has it ... who wants it...
On "Saving Grace" she starts her show having an affair with a married man. Her thoughts on it is that it is wrong or at least that is what she things down deep. But she tells him "why should I worry, I am not the one that is married?". Is that the right attitude? Someone is always going to get hurt. Maybe all three people in that kind of relationship. Can anything good come out of it? Can anyone be satisfied with that has happened?
Desparate Housewives" another one that is telling the public that everyone should have a married life like that. I dont think it is. I think there is a soul mate for everyone. You dont always know where you are going to meet or if you are even going to get together in this lifetime.
Okay enough sol searching and life searching.
I will be back later..................
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
What I'm Watchin'
Loved "Boston Legal"last night. Alex and Denny have such a wonderful relationship. There aren't too many men that would have a bathroom conversation like they did. Shirley and the new guy being an item. (why can everyone have a guy and I cant find one????? or have the one that I want???)
"Private Practice" is on tonight and I cant wait to see how good this is going to be. The kiss between Addison and Tim Daly's character - WOW. HOT!!!!! I didnt like her when she first came on Grey's but then she was okay because she seemed more vulnerable. Amy Brenerman is one of my favorites too when she was on "Judging Amy". The little hottie surfer dude. Okay I need to come up with names for these guys. McKisser and McHottie
"Dancing with the Stars" is going to be good and I will watch it but it is always better when the bad ones have been weeded out. I wasnt suprised that the girl model was the one to leave. Dolly Parton and Wayne Newton need to compare plastic surgeons. Does she have any ribs left????
"Side Order of Life" has to be one of my favorite summer shows that is still on. I will watch it and record anything else on the DVR. Cellphone guy.... Cant wait to see who he is. I dont think he is the guy she just met.
See again everyone has someone to talk to, to flirt with, to play with, to talk to for a long time on the phone........
Oh I have my family - who I love dearly and enjoy talking to on the phone and even my DYS (although we really arent related) for hours on end - but it still inst the same. The flirting the teasing the what-if's and the wish I could's or could if only's, the email playing's , the phone playing's . . . . . . . . .
So I guess I will have to see what else is coming on the rest of this week and next. What new things will I be exploring in the land of television? Hunky men, girl from the bar, ugly girl in braces, wonderful neighborhood with hot ladies, men in bushes (trees) ....
Oh, I will be back...................
"Private Practice" is on tonight and I cant wait to see how good this is going to be. The kiss between Addison and Tim Daly's character - WOW. HOT!!!!! I didnt like her when she first came on Grey's but then she was okay because she seemed more vulnerable. Amy Brenerman is one of my favorites too when she was on "Judging Amy". The little hottie surfer dude. Okay I need to come up with names for these guys. McKisser and McHottie
"Dancing with the Stars" is going to be good and I will watch it but it is always better when the bad ones have been weeded out. I wasnt suprised that the girl model was the one to leave. Dolly Parton and Wayne Newton need to compare plastic surgeons. Does she have any ribs left????
"Side Order of Life" has to be one of my favorite summer shows that is still on. I will watch it and record anything else on the DVR. Cellphone guy.... Cant wait to see who he is. I dont think he is the guy she just met.
See again everyone has someone to talk to, to flirt with, to play with, to talk to for a long time on the phone........
Oh I have my family - who I love dearly and enjoy talking to on the phone and even my DYS (although we really arent related) for hours on end - but it still inst the same. The flirting the teasing the what-if's and the wish I could's or could if only's, the email playing's , the phone playing's . . . . . . . . .
So I guess I will have to see what else is coming on the rest of this week and next. What new things will I be exploring in the land of television? Hunky men, girl from the bar, ugly girl in braces, wonderful neighborhood with hot ladies, men in bushes (trees) ....
Oh, I will be back...................
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Busy weekend
It is Sunday and the only sound is the keys clicking on the keyboard and my music in the background or foreground since I like to listen to it loud. I think the only place I am going today is to Sonic to get a pop and then only if I cant talk someone into getting it for me.
One of the best weekends. My OLDEST DD and DGSs come out for two days. I took 43 pictures and wish I would have taken more. (might that be the scrapbooker in me???) The whole family got together and played games and laughed and enjoyed each other like we havent in a couple of years. I just wish they lived closer so we could do this more often. Such personalities that just melded together and worked together. It was fun having the boys here. I just could go on and on and on saying how much they were enjoyed and loved by everyone. Emma and even Tilley warmed up to them right away.
Fun, Love, Love, Love, Laughs, Hugs, Fun, Music in our hearts, Coming home, (I just dont know what other words to describe what it meant to me. I know that Steve was here with us and listening to us - T & T cheating at pictionary - keeping us all safe)
I have been doing so good exercising and then I hurt my back or hip last weekend so I went a whole week not doing anything. Now the doctor says that I can walk the treadmill again but that is all right now. I am NOT going to day. I just want to veg. Do some scrapping, watch some football, read my new CK magazine and maybe even start my new book. C brought me some new wine to try so I might even uncork that and try it.
Have a good day, blog, and I will back soon......................................
One of the best weekends. My OLDEST DD and DGSs come out for two days. I took 43 pictures and wish I would have taken more. (might that be the scrapbooker in me???)
Fun, Love, Love, Love, Laughs, Hugs, Fun, Music in our hearts, Coming home, (I just dont know what other words to describe what it meant to me. I know that Steve was here with us and listening to us - T & T cheating at pictionary - keeping us all safe)
I have been doing so good exercising and then I hurt my back or hip last weekend so I went a whole week not doing anything. Now the doctor says that I can walk the treadmill again but that is all right now. I am NOT going to day. I just want to veg. Do some scrapping, watch some football, read my new CK magazine and maybe even start my new book. C brought me some new wine to try so I might even uncork that and try it.
Have a good day, blog, and I will back soon......................................
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Sad Day for a friend. .
I do feel better today as we got the air conditioner working.
BUT saying that I just got off the phone with a friend whose husband was sent home because there was nothing else he would let them do for him at the hospital. She right now is not able to leave the house for fear of him passing when she wasnt there and he is still somewhat aware of what is going on. It was hard to talk to her and try to be strong for her. I felt like I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her that it wasnt fair that she got to spend the last days and seconds with her DH. I didnt get that time and her husband wasnt that good to her to begin with. Why does he get these extra days and we didnt? Why is their business going good and why does she have someone to run his business to keep it going? Oh I know what you are thinking - no one promised that life was fair. So what makes that the thing that we have to accept?
I have posted on here twice and both times I have complained about something.
I want to go outside and loose myself in my plants, but I cant because I hurt my back - really my lower back - and I cant bend over...
So I am going to bet myself lost in getting my house cleaned up for my DD and DGSs coming in tomorrow to visit. Then I will get myself lost in my scrap room where it is a safety net for me.
Thank you all for your posts and support. Thanks to anyone who wants to listen to me.
One thing you will learn about my posts is that I start most with either "SO" or "WELL".
I love my family......................all four of my DDs, my five DGDs, 2 DGSs and my younger DS....
you all know who you are....
BUT saying that I just got off the phone with a friend whose husband was sent home because there was nothing else he would let them do for him at the hospital. She right now is not able to leave the house for fear of him passing when she wasnt there and he is still somewhat aware of what is going on. It was hard to talk to her and try to be strong for her. I felt like I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her that it wasnt fair that she got to spend the last days and seconds with her DH. I didnt get that time and her husband wasnt that good to her to begin with. Why does he get these extra days and we didnt? Why is their business going good and why does she have someone to run his business to keep it going? Oh I know what you are thinking - no one promised that life was fair. So what makes that the thing that we have to accept?
I have posted on here twice and both times I have complained about something.
I want to go outside and loose myself in my plants, but I cant because I hurt my back - really my lower back - and I cant bend over...
So I am going to bet myself lost in getting my house cleaned up for my DD and DGSs coming in tomorrow to visit. Then I will get myself lost in my scrap room where it is a safety net for me.
Thank you all for your posts and support. Thanks to anyone who wants to listen to me.
One thing you will learn about my posts is that I start most with either "SO" or "WELL".
I love my family......................all four of my DDs, my five DGDs, 2 DGSs and my younger DS....
you all know who you are....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
This is my first post so you are going to have to bear with me on what to say and how much I ramble.
I had a bad day and was very cranky when I got home. I thought this might be a perfect thing to get me going on feeling better. It was a bad day because we did not have air conditioning. It was in the high 80's or low 90's today but it sure seemed hotter in the office. Actually this was the 2nd day of it.
I don't like to be cranky or unhappy. I have tried to turn a new leaf since July, that the glass is not half full or half empty. I am going to see the glass as having room for more.
Improvements of oneself is where I am trying to get. It is about time to start to grow up and get myself back. Whoever that self is.
You know life is so short and we always think of what we are going to be doing tomorrow or next summer or when this happens or when that happens. I am just wondering what happened to the last 25 years. Where did they go? I went to sleep and they were gone.
I sure didn't mean for my first post to be so down and so negative. I will try to be better on my next one.
I have a lot to look forward to in the next coming days and am excited to see what the world and God has in store for me.
So thank you for reading, I want you to know that I am really not negative, just blowing off some of that steam from the heat in the office today.
Have a good night, sweet dreams, and let the sunshine in.
I had a bad day and was very cranky when I got home. I thought this might be a perfect thing to get me going on feeling better. It was a bad day because we did not have air conditioning. It was in the high 80's or low 90's today but it sure seemed hotter in the office. Actually this was the 2nd day of it.
I don't like to be cranky or unhappy. I have tried to turn a new leaf since July, that the glass is not half full or half empty. I am going to see the glass as having room for more.
Improvements of oneself is where I am trying to get. It is about time to start to grow up and get myself back. Whoever that self is.
You know life is so short and we always think of what we are going to be doing tomorrow or next summer or when this happens or when that happens. I am just wondering what happened to the last 25 years. Where did they go? I went to sleep and they were gone.
I sure didn't mean for my first post to be so down and so negative. I will try to be better on my next one.
I have a lot to look forward to in the next coming days and am excited to see what the world and God has in store for me.
So thank you for reading, I want you to know that I am really not negative, just blowing off some of that steam from the heat in the office today.
Have a good night, sweet dreams, and let the sunshine in.
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