Dear Blog:
It has been a long time since I have heard from you or you have heard from me.
I have been learning to appreciate myself again as I am. I have also been busy with family, scrapping, watching movies and catching up with the shows that I like to watch.
It was a big festival in our local town this last week and what a fun time it was this year. I didnt take any time off to enjoy it but the family got together, watched a parade together and enjoyed each other. Maybe next year we can have more family together.
Big yard plans next week. Need to get it ready for fall and winter.
Time to start thinking of the holidays and getting ready for it. Next week will be the time that I will be ready to put up my MANY trees. Might as well start now since there are 7 of them that I can put up. If I dont put them up now, it wont give me that much time to enjoy them for the season.
Well I am off for now. I know that it was short but I wanted to let you know that I love my family and send prayers their way. I also send prayers to friends, close and far away - ones that I keep in touch with and those that are silent.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Tagged
Here are the rules which must be posted on your blog if you are tagged:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
I was tagged by:
http://shawnnas.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-or-lack-there-of.html
Here's 7 facts about me:
1. I dont know 7 people that blog so I wont be able to tag anyone. My tagger already tagged the ones that I know.
2. I can not stay in a budget and am terrible about being organized. It is one of the things that I am going to be in my next life.
3. I am such an open person that I dont think that there is anyone that doenst know everything about me.
4. I can remember things from what I think were two other lives. One I lived on a plantation and had workers/help in the house and for myself but color had nothing to do with them. I dont remember much else about it except sitting on the porch and looking over the lawns. Maybe that is why I have always wanted a large porch and love a pretty yard. The other one was in the gold rush days and I owned a "house". I was the one in charge. Sometimes I see someone and think that I know them, and then I wonder if it was from that life. I did meet one guy at my work in Albuquerque that we both thought it was from that life because he could remember some things too.
5. I kind of like living alone, I miss sharing things as they are happening during my day, but I can listen to my music and watch TV at the same time I am on the computer and there isnt anyone to care. I dont like being an adult - like having to go to work, like having to know that I am getting older, like being responsible.
6. I am addicted to buying pajamas and under things.
7. I am very lucky to have so many people in my life. My DM is still with us. My DF is with me in my mind and around me. My DH is still with me in my heart, mind, soul and body. My 3DDs are the ones that keep me going every day. My 5DGC are the wonders of a new generation and keep me young. My DTD and my DCBGFF are who I keep in my mind and in my prayers with everything they are going through in their lives and have made my world better with them in it.
**D- dear M - mother F-father DD - dear daughter H-husband GC - grandchildrem T-Texas C-California BGFF - best girlfriend forever
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
I was tagged by:
http://shawnnas.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-or-lack-there-of.html
Here's 7 facts about me:
1. I dont know 7 people that blog so I wont be able to tag anyone. My tagger already tagged the ones that I know.
2. I can not stay in a budget and am terrible about being organized. It is one of the things that I am going to be in my next life.
3. I am such an open person that I dont think that there is anyone that doenst know everything about me.
4. I can remember things from what I think were two other lives. One I lived on a plantation and had workers/help in the house and for myself but color had nothing to do with them. I dont remember much else about it except sitting on the porch and looking over the lawns. Maybe that is why I have always wanted a large porch and love a pretty yard. The other one was in the gold rush days and I owned a "house". I was the one in charge. Sometimes I see someone and think that I know them, and then I wonder if it was from that life. I did meet one guy at my work in Albuquerque that we both thought it was from that life because he could remember some things too.
5. I kind of like living alone, I miss sharing things as they are happening during my day, but I can listen to my music and watch TV at the same time I am on the computer and there isnt anyone to care. I dont like being an adult - like having to go to work, like having to know that I am getting older, like being responsible.
6. I am addicted to buying pajamas and under things.
7. I am very lucky to have so many people in my life. My DM is still with us. My DF is with me in my mind and around me. My DH is still with me in my heart, mind, soul and body. My 3DDs are the ones that keep me going every day. My 5DGC are the wonders of a new generation and keep me young. My DTD and my DCBGFF are who I keep in my mind and in my prayers with everything they are going through in their lives and have made my world better with them in it.
**D- dear M - mother F-father DD - dear daughter H-husband GC - grandchildrem T-Texas C-California BGFF - best girlfriend forever
2 Addictions
Dear Blog, did you see the questions we got over the last post I sent you? Wondering if all addictions were bad or harmful?
I dont think they are all bad.. but that is my opinion because I have so many of them maybe. One for sure is scrapping supplies - DUH look my profile.
I guess I would say that it depends on how you handle the addictions. I handled one wrong and it turned out bad. It made me learn to handle the addiction instead of letting it handle me.
I have learned onmy addiction on buying paper for my supply is to to take a partial kit and buy paper to match it. Although I just did buy a stack of paper this weekend, but it was Christmas paper and I had to buy $25.00 worth to get my name in a drawing for the BIG Cricut, so it had to be okay to do that. And they dont carry Bazzil paper and only a little BG so that helps too.
Handling the addiction has to make you feel that if you get a little you want a lot, it shouldnt be on your mind 24/7, invading your dreams, invading every thought - that has to be called something else. Maybe I could come up with a new word for it - Controldiction.
So, to answer our Dear Post, NO NO NO NO some addictions are not bad.
This weekend.... I watched a couple of funny movies. I should have watched Road Hogs 1st because it was funny but after watching Knocked Up it wasnt as funny. Knocked Up is not a movie for kids and is a good movie to watch with a man. I kept thinking it was a movie and men REALLY wouldnt act that way. The DF that I watched the movies with told me that YES they are really that way and really think that way. So it just goes to show that they are all still teenage boys at heart. They may think they are grown up and above all that thinking without their brain but I think it is all still there. BUT we are no different. Dont we want them to have a little of that teenage playing in them? Dont we want to feel that we havent lost it ourselves? Dont we want to know that we still have that attraction to make them want to feel like teenage boys?
Questions, on top of questions, and thoughts that can really make you think with your BRAIN.........
Prayers for tonight: Pray that my DGD, who is going to be a teenager, will find that she has "what it takes" to make it in everything she does in the world. Pray that my DYD can remember what it was like as a teenager and want that back. Pray that my DOD can remember what she wanted in her life when she was a teenager and go for it now. Pray that my DMD remembers what she was like as a teenager and passes that on to her teenager. Pray that MFL will remember the teenage years, how it felt to be a Junior, and want it again in the world now no matter who creates those feelings.
I dont think they are all bad.. but that is my opinion because I have so many of them maybe. One for sure is scrapping supplies - DUH look my profile.
I guess I would say that it depends on how you handle the addictions. I handled one wrong and it turned out bad. It made me learn to handle the addiction instead of letting it handle me.
I have learned onmy addiction on buying paper for my supply is to to take a partial kit and buy paper to match it. Although I just did buy a stack of paper this weekend, but it was Christmas paper and I had to buy $25.00 worth to get my name in a drawing for the BIG Cricut, so it had to be okay to do that. And they dont carry Bazzil paper and only a little BG so that helps too.
Handling the addiction has to make you feel that if you get a little you want a lot, it shouldnt be on your mind 24/7, invading your dreams, invading every thought - that has to be called something else. Maybe I could come up with a new word for it - Controldiction.
So, to answer our Dear Post, NO NO NO NO some addictions are not bad.
This weekend.... I watched a couple of funny movies. I should have watched Road Hogs 1st because it was funny but after watching Knocked Up it wasnt as funny. Knocked Up is not a movie for kids and is a good movie to watch with a man. I kept thinking it was a movie and men REALLY wouldnt act that way. The DF that I watched the movies with told me that YES they are really that way and really think that way. So it just goes to show that they are all still teenage boys at heart. They may think they are grown up and above all that thinking without their brain but I think it is all still there. BUT we are no different. Dont we want them to have a little of that teenage playing in them? Dont we want to feel that we havent lost it ourselves? Dont we want to know that we still have that attraction to make them want to feel like teenage boys?
Questions, on top of questions, and thoughts that can really make you think with your BRAIN.........
Prayers for tonight: Pray that my DGD, who is going to be a teenager, will find that she has "what it takes" to make it in everything she does in the world. Pray that my DYD can remember what it was like as a teenager and want that back. Pray that my DOD can remember what she wanted in her life when she was a teenager and go for it now. Pray that my DMD remembers what she was like as a teenager and passes that on to her teenager. Pray that MFL will remember the teenage years, how it felt to be a Junior, and want it again in the world now no matter who creates those feelings.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Addiction
Dear Blog:
I asked a DF this last week what he was addicted to and he said "work". That scared me because it can be just as harmful to your health as smoking.
We use to be addicted to smoking. Oh I only smoked 2-3 packs a WEEK. But it was still an addiction.
I thought of how I would have answered the same question if he would have asked me. I think I am addicted to love. To the Knight in shining armour, to the white horse and fairy tales. I knew two Knights in my life. One swept me away with love but his horse was lost when I need to be saved. The second Knight swept me away on his horse when I needed to get out of a bad situation. Only his horse got sick, other addictions took him away. But I will still always believe......
Why do we get addicted to something? Because it makes us feel good -
**Work - we have accomplished something. Getting the raise, gotten the pat on the back, getting the new title, getting the rush of the kill of the latest project
**Cigarettes - the last smoke of the day, the relaxing time it gives you to light up, the old movies of smoking after making love, the glamorous way we grew up seeing movie stars smoking,
**Drugs - again it makes you feel good and lets you forget the problems you are having
**Love - nothing else needs to be said about it.
**Chocolate - the melting in your mouth and the smoothness of it on your tongue the rush the sugar gives you
But then there is the let down from the addiction. No matter what the addiction is there is the fall, the crash.
The end of the project at work is always a let down. Now you have to start all over with a new one.
The Knight falling off the pedestal. We wouldnt have music if love was perfect. Think of all the songs that are about falling in and the lost love.
Drugs and cigarettes take away from your health and that cant be good coming down from not having it any longer.
Chocolate well it just adds calories and weight and then you have to get make a new addiction of exercising.
So, dear Blog, watch what you get addicted to because some are very harmful to your health. They are all hard on your heart. Some will permanently harm in and others will break it.
Prayers for tonight....
Family that might have additions, family who has big hurtles to climb, for all the Knights out there that they dont fall off their horses and a special prayer for a DF who told me that I should listen to my puppies first
I asked a DF this last week what he was addicted to and he said "work". That scared me because it can be just as harmful to your health as smoking.
We use to be addicted to smoking. Oh I only smoked 2-3 packs a WEEK. But it was still an addiction.
I thought of how I would have answered the same question if he would have asked me. I think I am addicted to love. To the Knight in shining armour, to the white horse and fairy tales. I knew two Knights in my life. One swept me away with love but his horse was lost when I need to be saved. The second Knight swept me away on his horse when I needed to get out of a bad situation. Only his horse got sick, other addictions took him away. But I will still always believe......
Why do we get addicted to something? Because it makes us feel good -
**Work - we have accomplished something. Getting the raise, gotten the pat on the back, getting the new title, getting the rush of the kill of the latest project
**Cigarettes - the last smoke of the day, the relaxing time it gives you to light up, the old movies of smoking after making love, the glamorous way we grew up seeing movie stars smoking,
**Drugs - again it makes you feel good and lets you forget the problems you are having
**Love - nothing else needs to be said about it.
**Chocolate - the melting in your mouth and the smoothness of it on your tongue the rush the sugar gives you
But then there is the let down from the addiction. No matter what the addiction is there is the fall, the crash.
The end of the project at work is always a let down. Now you have to start all over with a new one.
The Knight falling off the pedestal. We wouldnt have music if love was perfect. Think of all the songs that are about falling in and the lost love.
Drugs and cigarettes take away from your health and that cant be good coming down from not having it any longer.
Chocolate well it just adds calories and weight and then you have to get make a new addiction of exercising.
So, dear Blog, watch what you get addicted to because some are very harmful to your health. They are all hard on your heart. Some will permanently harm in and others will break it.
Prayers for tonight....
Family that might have additions, family who has big hurtles to climb, for all the Knights out there that they dont fall off their horses and a special prayer for a DF who told me that I should listen to my puppies first
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Weekend is yellow - not blue
Dear Blog:
I had a good week this week.
I talked to two friends for hours a couple of different nights this week. It is getting to be quite a thing for me to stay up to 11:00 talking at night. What fun, just like a teen again, laying in bed and talking to friends for hours on end. Thanks to my DBCGF/YS and to my DFL.
So started the day out sleeping late, which was great and dont feel guilty. Then went to the gym and walked 1 1/2 miles. I think I could have gone further but I didnt want to push it too much. I will do that for a couple of weeks and then bump it up again. I am ready to get past this next hurtle in the weight.
I had another episode with that same bottle of wine. I was on the final glass of it and the cork got stuck in the neck of the bottle. So I stuck my finger down it's throat and got my finger stuck. Now I could wrap the bottle with a towel and hit it with a hammer, but with my luck my hand would get cut and the neck would still be on my finger. So I decided to plod my way to the bedroom, lay on the bed, drink what wine I got out of it and then by relaxing the bottle would come off. Woo Hoo it worked.
I have called the winery to see if they can tell me who to uncork their bottles so I can drink the next one. The one that I just finished was a black cherry/chocolate. The next one is apple and citrus. Should be just as good.
Now I have a lazy afternoon ahead of me and have too much lazy things that I want to do. I made a CD for my DFL but I have another started and want to get the songs just right before I send it off. He said that he couldnt find a CD that he was knew he had and really liked the songs on it, so I found some of them and bought them for his new CD. I hope it doesnt take him 4 weeks to listen to this one like it did the last one I sent.
My music is blaring with the combination of tunes from Willey Nelson, Beatels, Ray Charles, Corinne Bailey Rae, Don McLean, Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Clarson, Hootie & the Blowfish, and many many more. I can get up and dance with any tune, sing as loud as I want to and no one is going to care. Freedom, is something that we all think we have in our lives, but when there is another person depending on you and living with you, the freedom isnt yours any longer. Your freedom now becomes a group freedom. You might say you dont care what the other person is doing or wants to do, and he may say the same thing about you. BUT truth be told, if you didnt want to listen to his type of music and he was playing really loud, you would mind. Freedom is a good thing but it sometimes gets lonely too. The human touch, the spoken word, the caring and the sharing and the loving have a lot to be desired - BUT maybe not on a full time basis.
So, Dear Blog, I am closing for tonight with a smile on my face and sunshine in my eyes and hope in my heart.
Prayers still go out to all of my family - and you all know who you are.
I had a good week this week.
I talked to two friends for hours a couple of different nights this week. It is getting to be quite a thing for me to stay up to 11:00 talking at night. What fun, just like a teen again, laying in bed and talking to friends for hours on end. Thanks to my DBCGF/YS and to my DFL.
So started the day out sleeping late, which was great and dont feel guilty. Then went to the gym and walked 1 1/2 miles. I think I could have gone further but I didnt want to push it too much. I will do that for a couple of weeks and then bump it up again. I am ready to get past this next hurtle in the weight.
I had another episode with that same bottle of wine. I was on the final glass of it and the cork got stuck in the neck of the bottle. So I stuck my finger down it's throat and got my finger stuck. Now I could wrap the bottle with a towel and hit it with a hammer, but with my luck my hand would get cut and the neck would still be on my finger. So I decided to plod my way to the bedroom, lay on the bed, drink what wine I got out of it and then by relaxing the bottle would come off. Woo Hoo it worked.
I have called the winery to see if they can tell me who to uncork their bottles so I can drink the next one. The one that I just finished was a black cherry/chocolate. The next one is apple and citrus. Should be just as good.
Now I have a lazy afternoon ahead of me and have too much lazy things that I want to do. I made a CD for my DFL but I have another started and want to get the songs just right before I send it off. He said that he couldnt find a CD that he was knew he had and really liked the songs on it, so I found some of them and bought them for his new CD. I hope it doesnt take him 4 weeks to listen to this one like it did the last one I sent.
My music is blaring with the combination of tunes from Willey Nelson, Beatels, Ray Charles, Corinne Bailey Rae, Don McLean, Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Clarson, Hootie & the Blowfish, and many many more. I can get up and dance with any tune, sing as loud as I want to and no one is going to care. Freedom, is something that we all think we have in our lives, but when there is another person depending on you and living with you, the freedom isnt yours any longer. Your freedom now becomes a group freedom. You might say you dont care what the other person is doing or wants to do, and he may say the same thing about you. BUT truth be told, if you didnt want to listen to his type of music and he was playing really loud, you would mind. Freedom is a good thing but it sometimes gets lonely too. The human touch, the spoken word, the caring and the sharing and the loving have a lot to be desired - BUT maybe not on a full time basis.
So, Dear Blog, I am closing for tonight with a smile on my face and sunshine in my eyes and hope in my heart.
Prayers still go out to all of my family - and you all know who you are.
Monday, October 8, 2007
My prayers go out....................
Dear Blog:
Another widow in my circle of neighbors/friends. His suffering is over which we can thank God for - now his family's suffering get increased.
The book that I am currently reading starts out: "Without having seen him you love him, though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with exalted joy."
Nothing at this time brings joy or peace in the life of the family left behind. The pain is the same if there is a long illness or a sudden parting.
There is resentment on both sides of the loss: One family got to say their good byes, knew that it was coming, got to spend many last hours together, got to get affairs in order. The other family didnt have to see their loved one suffer, see the pain that also cause the family pain, didnt have the expenses of the illness.
Both families have to go through the same steps of grieving and loss: WHY, anger, whe didnt I, what if, why, should have done, why didnt he, we could have, why couldnt the doctors, resentment, guilt, more anger, why him, how am I going to go on..........................
The worse thing to say to someone is " I know how you feel" NO you dont, no one knows because every relationship is different and everyone goes through the grieving in a different order.
So, Dear Blog, I am sending prayers to all the 14+ familes that are in my circle of family/friends, that have loss in their lives in the last 25 months.
May they find peace sometime during their days and weeks.
***************************************************************************************
Okay, Dear Blog, enough of that kind of blogging. Hopefully no more losses in a long time.
My DCBGF should be back home today after being away for 4 - yes four - days and we need a long phone call.
Speaking of phone calls, I wonder why I havent heard from the DH of the dog sitter? We talked about meeting in AR this month but she had to dog sit, so there was gong to be long hours of talking into the night.
I know that I missed talking to both of my DFs.
I do get to talk to some pretty sexy, younger men during the day. Of course some are married and they some call me MOM but it is still fun. Business only.. yeah right.. nothing naughty because we could be listened to.
I need to start my DF, who wants to take me 'shopping', on long phone calls after her kids go to bed.
My movie DF works at night when I am home. But we email every day. So I do get to keep up on his life.
So enough for one night.............I have talked your ear off.
TOY
ALM
ALY
Another widow in my circle of neighbors/friends. His suffering is over which we can thank God for - now his family's suffering get increased.
The book that I am currently reading starts out: "Without having seen him you love him, though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with exalted joy."
Nothing at this time brings joy or peace in the life of the family left behind. The pain is the same if there is a long illness or a sudden parting.
There is resentment on both sides of the loss: One family got to say their good byes, knew that it was coming, got to spend many last hours together, got to get affairs in order. The other family didnt have to see their loved one suffer, see the pain that also cause the family pain, didnt have the expenses of the illness.
Both families have to go through the same steps of grieving and loss: WHY, anger, whe didnt I, what if, why, should have done, why didnt he, we could have, why couldnt the doctors, resentment, guilt, more anger, why him, how am I going to go on..........................
The worse thing to say to someone is " I know how you feel" NO you dont, no one knows because every relationship is different and everyone goes through the grieving in a different order.
So, Dear Blog, I am sending prayers to all the 14+ familes that are in my circle of family/friends, that have loss in their lives in the last 25 months.
May they find peace sometime during their days and weeks.
***************************************************************************************
Okay, Dear Blog, enough of that kind of blogging. Hopefully no more losses in a long time.
My DCBGF should be back home today after being away for 4 - yes four - days and we need a long phone call.
Speaking of phone calls, I wonder why I havent heard from the DH of the dog sitter? We talked about meeting in AR this month but she had to dog sit, so there was gong to be long hours of talking into the night.
I know that I missed talking to both of my DFs.
I do get to talk to some pretty sexy, younger men during the day. Of course some are married and they some call me MOM but it is still fun. Business only.. yeah right.. nothing naughty because we could be listened to.
I need to start my DF, who wants to take me 'shopping', on long phone calls after her kids go to bed.
My movie DF works at night when I am home. But we email every day. So I do get to keep up on his life.
So enough for one night.............I have talked your ear off.
TOY
ALM
ALY
Sunday, October 7, 2007
WOO HOO FOR ME!!!!
I got on the scale today and I had hit my next goal. now I have to work on keeping it there and going lower. It sure felt good to get there. A little at a time .... but those littles add up to a lot in the end.... but I dont want to talk about my end... lol
Anyone would think that my DM was coming to visit. I have done 8 loads of laundry in the last two days and none of them are clothes. Rugs, all the bedding on both bed, and anything that I can pick up. Moving furniture and vacuuming but not taking the blinds down and cleaning them. Washing the puppies.
So this morning I couldnt get out of bed very easily but had to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen last night. I decided that after working so hard I deserved a glass of wine and some relaxing. So - darn I say that a lot - I got out the bottle that my DOD brought with her for her visit. Couldnt get the darn thing open. Even my fancy opener wouldnt work, then I tried a long screw and a pair of plyers, then a knife - nothing it was not budging. I dont think it is cork but maybe a rubber sealer or waxed sealer of some kind. Do I got a +screw driver and started punching the stopper. I guess it had built up a lot of pressure because it sprouted out all over the kitchen. I was not about to clean it up last night after all that so -there is that word again - I had to clean it up this morning. But it was worth it. It was good, made me feel good and very sleepy. Maybe I shouldnt have had a margarita glass full????????
Went to Sonic just now and got my regular DDP so I am set for the day. Football on, music rattling the windows, chicken cooking in the oven, getting ready to scrap. What could be better????? I guess figuring out someway of being able to read while doing this all.
Yes, Dear Blog, I am reading again. you know that I use to read about two books a week and then when my life changed until now I have only read one book. So this last week I started reading again. Really enjoying it again. There just arent enough hours in a day.
The last episode of my favorite show is on tonight --Side Order of Life --- YEAH, Shannon would be proud of me for remembering the name now that the show is over for the season. It is two hours so I will be missing DHW and B&S tonight. I will have to stay up late and watch B&S to see who the funeral is for. Don't tell me................It isnt like a book where I read the first 1/4 of the book, the last 1/4 of the book and then the middle, and then the end again...
Well, DB, I am going to stop for now and go turn the chicken and get to scrapping...
Have a great day... Hope your dreams and wishes come true... Hope you hear from some dear to you... those are my prayers for today.
Anyone would think that my DM was coming to visit. I have done 8 loads of laundry in the last two days and none of them are clothes. Rugs, all the bedding on both bed, and anything that I can pick up. Moving furniture and vacuuming but not taking the blinds down and cleaning them. Washing the puppies.
So this morning I couldnt get out of bed very easily but had to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen last night. I decided that after working so hard I deserved a glass of wine and some relaxing. So - darn I say that a lot - I got out the bottle that my DOD brought with her for her visit. Couldnt get the darn thing open. Even my fancy opener wouldnt work, then I tried a long screw and a pair of plyers, then a knife - nothing it was not budging. I dont think it is cork but maybe a rubber sealer or waxed sealer of some kind. Do I got a +screw driver and started punching the stopper. I guess it had built up a lot of pressure because it sprouted out all over the kitchen. I was not about to clean it up last night after all that so -there is that word again - I had to clean it up this morning. But it was worth it. It was good, made me feel good and very sleepy. Maybe I shouldnt have had a margarita glass full????????
Went to Sonic just now and got my regular DDP so I am set for the day. Football on, music rattling the windows, chicken cooking in the oven, getting ready to scrap. What could be better????? I guess figuring out someway of being able to read while doing this all.
Yes, Dear Blog, I am reading again. you know that I use to read about two books a week and then when my life changed until now I have only read one book. So this last week I started reading again. Really enjoying it again. There just arent enough hours in a day.
The last episode of my favorite show is on tonight --Side Order of Life --- YEAH, Shannon would be proud of me for remembering the name now that the show is over for the season. It is two hours so I will be missing DHW and B&S tonight. I will have to stay up late and watch B&S to see who the funeral is for. Don't tell me................It isnt like a book where I read the first 1/4 of the book, the last 1/4 of the book and then the middle, and then the end again...
Well, DB, I am going to stop for now and go turn the chicken and get to scrapping...
Have a great day... Hope your dreams and wishes come true... Hope you hear from some dear to you... those are my prayers for today.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Better now
It is amazing what 12 hours of sleep can do. The body gets rested but the mind still comes and goes - I know that it is age but what can we do.....
I am still trying to be positive since I decided I am giving myself a year to get better and to heal myself. Oh, I know it will take the rest of my life but the year is a start.
It is hard to now see myself in my mind's eye like I was in my 40's and I wish I could get on a soap-box to tell everyone my thoughts. I wish that I would have listened to myself back those years. I took my own advice at times but then life would take over and I would get swept up again.
I am still trying to be positive since I decided I am giving myself a year to get better and to heal myself. Oh, I know it will take the rest of my life but the year is a start.
It is hard to now see myself in my mind's eye like I was in my 40's and I wish I could get on a soap-box to tell everyone my thoughts. I wish that I would have listened to myself back those years. I took my own advice at times but then life would take over and I would get swept up again.
BEGIN NOW
DONT WAIT
Why didnt I listen to myself -
If there is one thing that you dont like about yourself WORK on it NOW, DONT WAIT.
I didnt like and dont like my weight - what did I do to change it all those years - change my hair color, change the style, change my makeup, bought some clothes. Nothing too the weight off, it was still there. I didnt work or try anything to work on the biggest problem.
So now I am trying to work on . Yes, I am like everyone else and would like to loose 100 pounds in the next month or even in the next year, to be the size I was when I got married. But would that make me happy either???? I have to be realistic in this and know that it is going to be hard to loose 5 pounds a month unless I really am good to myself and really work on it.
My wish is to go back to my 40's so I would have more time in my life to work on myself.
Remember, Dear Blog, to pamper yourself/myself - what ever it takes - get a massage, get a pedicure, get a manicure, have a day with friends, have a special dessert instead of dinner, soaking in the bath with the music blaring and a bottle of your favorite drink that you dont get all by yourself - anything that will make you feel special and put a smile on your face when you think of it. Think of things to feel better that doesnt cost anything. Go for a walk or play in the rain, make mud pies, sit for hours at Barnes & Noble amongst the wonder books and smelling the wonderful coffee. What ever it takes.. Just do it, even if it is only once every two months.. Renew your soul..
LOVE ME/YOU
Another thing I wish I would have listened to myself more was my significant other. I wish I would have stopped everything EVERY day to just listen to what he had to say about his day. Really listen. It doesnt matter if he listened to me or if he even asked how my day went. It made me feel good to just listen to his voice and have him share his life with me. It doesnt have to be more than 10 minutes of just listening.
Treat myself and my significant other to an affair - with each other. What excitement the first time of making love, of the exploration of each other - why do we loose that - again it is life taking over. Kids need this, the house needs that, my body needs sleep, the laundry needs to be folded - but what bout how the body and mind feel when all of those things are shut out and it is just the two of us. We had some of those times but never enough.
Now those times are gone and I cant ever get them back except the few we had and it is just a memory or a dream....
So, Dear Blog, I am off to pamper myself with a walk on the treadmill to see if I can burn a portion of a pound.
I will be back............................
Monday, October 1, 2007
Very Tired
I guess the last two FUN filled weekends have finally caught up with me.
The weekend that was too short with my DGSs and DD here for a visit and then the fun filled weekend that was filled with me just doing what I wanted to do.
Now the tireds and the depression starts.
I really dont know where this is going and it is hard to see through the tears that have started already.
No real cause for them - missing:
my DD and her WONDERFUL boys... I mean really missing them....
my other DDs and wondering how they are all doing....
the other 1/2 of my heart... I just dont know..the touch, the look, the need...
a friend that hasnt emailed in weeks now...
what I need from my DM...
No real cause for them - worrying:
about my DDs - will they be as happy as I was (most of the time) - will they have the love that I took for granted...
what about health - will their bones be strong or get stronger - will I be able to set any examples for them - will their bodies hold up for them...
will their spouses see them for who they are and take care of them always...
will they see themselves as they are and not as who they use to be....
So starts my prayer for tonight:
Please listen to all of our prayers, listen with an open heart and an open mind on what we are asking. Please keep ALL of our family safe, help us to understand the choices you have made for us. Please, let DDC see the way that she should travel...let DDT see the light at the end of the tunnel...let DDE see the how lucky she is in her life...let DDS have good results and keep by her side during her trials...let DSS know what path to follow...let me see myself for who I am...
Help all of us to keep you in our hearts and in our thoughts and to know that you have something planned for us even though we may not understand. ..........................................
The weekend that was too short with my DGSs and DD here for a visit and then the fun filled weekend that was filled with me just doing what I wanted to do.
Now the tireds and the depression starts.
I really dont know where this is going and it is hard to see through the tears that have started already.
No real cause for them - missing:
my DD and her WONDERFUL boys... I mean really missing them....
my other DDs and wondering how they are all doing....
the other 1/2 of my heart... I just dont know..the touch, the look, the need...
a friend that hasnt emailed in weeks now...
what I need from my DM...
No real cause for them - worrying:
about my DDs - will they be as happy as I was (most of the time) - will they have the love that I took for granted...
what about health - will their bones be strong or get stronger - will I be able to set any examples for them - will their bodies hold up for them...
will their spouses see them for who they are and take care of them always...
will they see themselves as they are and not as who they use to be....
So starts my prayer for tonight:
Please listen to all of our prayers, listen with an open heart and an open mind on what we are asking. Please keep ALL of our family safe, help us to understand the choices you have made for us. Please, let DDC see the way that she should travel...let DDT see the light at the end of the tunnel...let DDE see the how lucky she is in her life...let DDS have good results and keep by her side during her trials...let DSS know what path to follow...let me see myself for who I am...
Help all of us to keep you in our hearts and in our thoughts and to know that you have something planned for us even though we may not understand. ..........................................
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