Long time away

I have had an eventful two months.
Cold after cold after cold. I would just think I was getting over it and here it was again. Like a bad penny you cant throw away.
I have a signed contract on my business so that is one positive thing.

What brought me here today was not any of those things, though. It was thinking of my friends. Talked to one on the phone today, one on the phone last night, emailed one this morning and will email two of them later today. But there is one that I dont know if I will ever talk to again or email again. Funny isnt it that it is that friend that I will miss the most.
Friends are precious things to have. And they all have different meanings in our lives. But it is all one word.. FRIEND
There is the casual male friend. We both know that we are comfortable with each others company, but do not demand anything from each other. He and I email about five times a week, see each other when there is a chance but other than that, we are just friends. No complications, no expectations, just there to talk to if we want to. We have know each other for about 15 years and know a lot about each other but it is still casual. And he and I agreed that it is all we needed out of our friendship.
There is the casual girl friend. Funny isnt it that one is a 'male' and one is a 'girl'. You cant say 'boy' friend without people thinking other things are involved. My 'girl' friend is one that we may not talk to weeks, never email, live across the street from each other, might see each other only once a month, but would do anything for each other. We dont know much about each others pasts but still know enough history that it is okay. We have some things in common but just generally like each other. There are a lot of things that make us not fit into each others lives but that is okay too.
There is another casual male friend. We havent know each other very long and it is just mostly through email and a couple of phone calls. We work for the same company and that is how we got to know each other from our first phone call about work. That phone call took about 5 minutes of work and lasted about 45 minutes of just talking. We are getting to know each other with out 20 questions, but we really only ask 2 at a time. I think it wouldnt take much for him to want it to be more because of some things that have been said, but I am definitely not ready for that step in our friendship. We live in different states and really dont have anything in common but work and a few people that we work with. That is okay though, that is what makes life interesting. To see what we might have in common but just getting to know someone.
There is another girl friend, that is totally different than any other. She and I have emailed for a few years, got to see each other once for a few days, talked for hours on the phone, but are still there for each other even when we dont email or talk for weeks. She has offered things in our friendship that I dont think I could ask of anyone else. Or even that any other girl friend would offer to help with. We have talked on many subjects and still have many more to talk about.
There is my best girl friend. We have know each other for 35 years or more. We have been though a lot together. Divorces, losses, kids, marriages, tears, moving, and just being there. There are still a lot of our pasts that we havent talked about but it isnt necessary to us. We know each other yesterday, today and tomorrow and that is enough. We can talk about anything but dont need to. We have a lot in common and enjoy just sitting there not talking or talking for hours. It would have been hard to make it in the last 15 years without her.
There are my daughters/friends. Yes my daughters are some of my best friend friends. We can talk about anything. Well let me clarify that...one will talk about things that another one wont and the other way around. So we each have our own unique relationship, but they are really my best friends along with being my daughters. So they arent just blood but friends by choice.
That brings me to my mom who has become a very good friend. We do talk about anything. My sister doesnt believe it and cant with either of us but we do talk about everything. She does not live close but we talk every night. I know that some day this will not be the case any longer and I will miss that very much. So I take advantage of it and talk and talk every night. She will always be my mom and friend and I will always talk to her even if she cant but she will still be there somewhere to listen.
All of this brings me to another friend. He knows who he is and other of my friends know who he is also. He knows that I would take this friendship to another level if it was possible but it isnt. He is another one that I can say anything to and everything to but he holds back on his side. Maybe it is his situation that he feels he cant say what he wants to. Or maybe it is that he doesnt want to say it and only wants to be friends forever. There have been hints of feelings but then it goes to nothing. No emails, nothing. We have known each other longer than any of my other friends. He knows most of my past and I know some of his past. He can hurt me more than any other of my friends and make me the happiest too. Our relationship is email with a few phone calls in the past. I know what I think friendship means but I dont know what it means to him. Isnt it strange that in some ways I feel like I know him so well but really dont know his mind.

So there you go. It is just a reflection on the different kinds of friends. Think about your own friends and how they differ. All of them are unique and special.

I am grateful for all my friends and their personalities and their relationships with me. I hope to be a better friend to each and every one of them every day. I hope that I am the kind of friend they want. It would also be interesting to see how they would say our friends is and what it means to them. Another thing to reflect on....